The Rising Sun

It is weird to not sleep at night. For reasons I am not sure of, my body just has a mind of its own...normally I can't sleep late...but this has gone to the next level to where I just can't sleep...well I mean a couple hours here and there but nothing seriously consistent...it IS slightly annoying I will admit.

But something just annoying must be to all the English majors I know, yet I still make a ridiculous amount of spelling and grammatical errors.

If it wasn't for the built in spell checker with Mozilla Firefox I think I would be eternally doomed to not being able to write anything online without seeming like an uneducated twit.

The dawn comes up, I'm not ready for it.
It is hard to be nice.
Especially when someone imposes.
It is kinda hard to be myself
when I feel the need to guard.
People can be crass
and act as if everyone has a price,
that everything is just a pose,
but thank God reality sets in.

I'm so tired of the falseness of it all.
Holden Caulfield knows of what I speak.
The fake smiles, plastic suits,
and their false sincerity in calls.
It's only the strong who rule, not the meek.
It is dog eat dog and they just say hot dog.
Ruling, lording, controlling and moving.

I loose my perception so easily and I get caught up in everything else.
Everything, everything, everything.
I so badly wish things could slow down for once, that things could be the same.
The pain could be the pain and myself can be me, can be I and most the certain of all is that it would not be you.

I want to be left alone.
I'm afraid to be touched,
to be known.
Every touch and movement makes me sick.
Grown? Never.
Child like in false sincerity and nothing more.
Nothing much except that I am me,
nothing more and nothing less.
I've wanted to be you and I have wanted more.
Silly is and silly does but you are so silly within.

Just confusion.
Rambling beats over the din of drunken noise.
I'm so tired and beg, yes beg for a change.
Not just more people causing pain,
but pain causing people.

Purpose, malignant, stagnant and utterly disgustingly pretension purpose.
Why can't I sleep?
Where are you?
I need sleep so much.
Please.