Soul Full of Strange

Wow.
Life is just...so, so strange.
So excessively weird.
Extraordinary strange.
Over the moon.
Barking mad.
Mental.
Insane.

This growing by numbers at a day is so slow and yet so fast at the same time.
If one does not pay close attention everything slips through like sand through fingers.
Is this life?
Is this moment life?
This passing and fleeting second?
Life?
Sincerely and seriously?

 Moving so slow.
In location change, in health, in school, in work and life.
Breathing pains.
What am I willing to give up so I can be free?
What am I willing to embrace so I can be free?
What pains?
What joys?
What burdens must I burn?
What plastic hopes need I trash?

Extended Post Scripts

Sometimes it feels every step forward is several back.
Meeting someone I haven't seen in eight years was bizarre.
Just a happenstance meeting in the library.
Invitation to Church tomorrow.

What does it matter...if it matters...at mattering?

Like getting a key to the new store finally.
About a month after we open.
Maybe I can get some extra work in.
Maybe I will be crushed under the weight of my thesis.
Or my health finally gives out via heart failure, cancer or mental illness.

Maybe.
Something.
Everything.
Possibly.

It is so easy to live in hesitation.
That moment of not knowing.
Paralyzed for decades.

Wavering back and forth.
Misery to misery.
Ashes to the dust we become.

Even if you read this...very sentence,
would you know this was about you?
Or just think it was for someone else?

Somethings change.
Everything ends.

You made your decisions.
And so did I.
It seems that now,
we must understand why.