I wish

I wish...for so many impossible and irrational things.
So much hope and so many lite.
more, time and whatever...I'm sorry for not doing more..

Wishes in Pale Sunrise

I wish I could cry.
Let go.
Feel again.
Let the pain rush pass
and slip through my lips.

I wish I could cry.
Feel more.
Pain again.

But it doesn't matter.
The ones who would listen are gone.
It's a blank wall.

Scribbles on a page.
Passing by.
Day again.
Day again.
Another second.
One more labored breath.

Such meanignless phrases.
Time.
Love.
Loss.
Hope.
Doesn't make any sense.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Irksome

You know what is irritating?
Feeling attempts at being manipulated.
I'm not an idiot.
On the rare occasion I can put two and two together.

Oh well.

Such is life, right friend?

Jobs

Oh such a waste of breath.
Hate.
Anger.
Swear words.

My time is better spent sleeping
than planning nanny
to this host of fools.

I miss being excited.
Living life in anticipation.
Having conversations that stimulated and drove me to want to be the change I wanted to see in the world.

However, as of late, there has been months of pervading melancholy. 

I am sleeping in a more healthy and productive manner, eating better, taking vitamins and bothering to exercise in all senses...but there is still this pervading hole.

Sigh.

More Medical Fun

So my chiropractor is really concerned about my migraines, neck pain, vision issues and is wanting me to see a neurologist for a MRI and CT scan.

That is terrifying in the least.

"Hurt" - Nine Inch Nails