Saturday, July 4, 2009
"Babies Breath" - Brave Saint Saturn
Incandescent moon is shining
Just for you tonight
Shimmering a golden halo
Does it follow just beyond your sight?
Sigh
You're an angel
Wanting wings for flight
Tonight
Baby's breath in the waxing light
Glassy seas of blue
I will dream of you
Let's close our eyes till daylight comes
Baby's breath and chrysanthemums
So beaming blue these dreaming skies
In soundless sleep now close your eyes
Till daylight
Till daylight comes
Till daylight
Till daylight comes
Just close your eyes till daylight comes
I keep feeling that the strangest
Peace is all around
In the speechless, in this quiet
Angels never make a single sound
Sigh
Baby's breath and lilacs so profound
Falling down
Softest moonlight making garlands
Forms the crown
Glassy seas of blue
I will dream of you
Just for you tonight
Shimmering a golden halo
Does it follow just beyond your sight?
Sigh
You're an angel
Wanting wings for flight
Tonight
Baby's breath in the waxing light
Glassy seas of blue
I will dream of you
Let's close our eyes till daylight comes
Baby's breath and chrysanthemums
So beaming blue these dreaming skies
In soundless sleep now close your eyes
Till daylight
Till daylight comes
Till daylight
Till daylight comes
Just close your eyes till daylight comes
I keep feeling that the strangest
Peace is all around
In the speechless, in this quiet
Angels never make a single sound
Sigh
Baby's breath and lilacs so profound
Falling down
Softest moonlight making garlands
Forms the crown
Glassy seas of blue
I will dream of you
"Nothing Matters Anymore" - Showbread
after all of this we've been dismissed by those who prefer to eat dirt
we've been gladly exempt we are racked with contempt
and we happily wish you this hurt
my skull is on fire with barbs and black spires
my synapses shriek in the flames
yet we reel with desire though chocked by coarse wire
we've been loosed by our raging disdain
i'm gone, God help me i'm done
nothing can stop me, i'm done
no fear no doubt i've bottomed out i've lost myself i'm letting go
no pride no me i've set them free i've lost my mind and now i know
no pain no death they're put to rest we leave them here we close the door
no earth no man, now take my hand nothing matters anymore
oh the stage that we soil, the plans that we foil
the joke that we play on the world
and you drown in the oil, all wrapped up in the coils
crushed under the stones that you've hurled
still we march through the tombs through the darkness and gloom
and we shatter the columns of bone
and the world she breaks for the lives that she takes
she weeps as she dies all alone
no fear no doubt i've bottomed out i've lost myself i'm letting go
no pride no me i've set them free i've lost my mind and now i know
no pain no death they're put to rest we leave them here we close the door
no earth no man, now take my hand nothing matters anymore
the world is a husk to be peeled back and torn
my body a shell that now breaks
how i long to escape from the chains that i've worn
and hasten my greatest escape
and when i breathe my very last
don't shed a tear for me
discard the body that once was my prison
for i'll have been set free
and when the trumpets call us home and i am no longer bedded by pain
our tears will be forever dried for the author of life knows my name
so we trample the hoards of the pointless and blank
we will die for the truth in our hearts
no force that exists will steal us from his hands
nothing will tear us apart
though the mirror is dull, the reflection obscured we look beyond the obtuse
and the world weighs down, beating us to the ground
but her efforts are of little use
the annointed one has purchased our souls death is battered and lifeless before me
the truth rains down for the children of Christ and the truth has set us free
and through it all we rise when we fall
though the road grows more narrow before me
though we ache though we cry never break, never die
the one truth there is sets us free
we've been gladly exempt we are racked with contempt
and we happily wish you this hurt
my skull is on fire with barbs and black spires
my synapses shriek in the flames
yet we reel with desire though chocked by coarse wire
we've been loosed by our raging disdain
i'm gone, God help me i'm done
nothing can stop me, i'm done
no fear no doubt i've bottomed out i've lost myself i'm letting go
no pride no me i've set them free i've lost my mind and now i know
no pain no death they're put to rest we leave them here we close the door
no earth no man, now take my hand nothing matters anymore
oh the stage that we soil, the plans that we foil
the joke that we play on the world
and you drown in the oil, all wrapped up in the coils
crushed under the stones that you've hurled
still we march through the tombs through the darkness and gloom
and we shatter the columns of bone
and the world she breaks for the lives that she takes
she weeps as she dies all alone
no fear no doubt i've bottomed out i've lost myself i'm letting go
no pride no me i've set them free i've lost my mind and now i know
no pain no death they're put to rest we leave them here we close the door
no earth no man, now take my hand nothing matters anymore
the world is a husk to be peeled back and torn
my body a shell that now breaks
how i long to escape from the chains that i've worn
and hasten my greatest escape
and when i breathe my very last
don't shed a tear for me
discard the body that once was my prison
for i'll have been set free
and when the trumpets call us home and i am no longer bedded by pain
our tears will be forever dried for the author of life knows my name
so we trample the hoards of the pointless and blank
we will die for the truth in our hearts
no force that exists will steal us from his hands
nothing will tear us apart
though the mirror is dull, the reflection obscured we look beyond the obtuse
and the world weighs down, beating us to the ground
but her efforts are of little use
the annointed one has purchased our souls death is battered and lifeless before me
the truth rains down for the children of Christ and the truth has set us free
and through it all we rise when we fall
though the road grows more narrow before me
though we ache though we cry never break, never die
the one truth there is sets us free
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Songs of Life
I can't believe I have wasted almost two years of my life here.
God I hate this place...so much.
Here.
Have a mix tape.
God I hate this place...so much.
Here.
Have a mix tape.
Stupid Little Kid
I am...so tired of being me.
Opening my mouth...giving thoughts and being judged.
Being seen and being processed.
Digitally and otherwise.
Rage, seething rage.
Unexpressed because of this mask.
Childish expressions only
marked in crayon on cardboard,
the removal no simple task.
Such a lonely task,
residing in plastic
and pretending porcelain in my home
fooling everyone
but me.
Carrying my heart in a metal casket
and hoping that the best is yet to come.
Just a little drawing
a few lines for a face
and not much else.
but I pity your sad grin
knowing you know
just as little as I do
and how it's all coming to end.
Opening my mouth...giving thoughts and being judged.
Being seen and being processed.
Digitally and otherwise.
Rage, seething rage.
Unexpressed because of this mask.
Childish expressions only
marked in crayon on cardboard,
the removal no simple task.
Such a lonely task,
residing in plastic
and pretending porcelain in my home
fooling everyone
but me.
Carrying my heart in a metal casket
and hoping that the best is yet to come.
Just a little drawing
a few lines for a face
and not much else.
but I pity your sad grin
knowing you know
just as little as I do
and how it's all coming to end.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Foolish Inklings
Ministerial intent.
I have the internship stuff turned in...now it's just waiting to hear if I get accepted or not.
I'm slightly giddy.
I also haven't really slept in a while.
A good long while.
But any prayers would be accepted and desired because if this comes through it will be a life changing event...move across the country to Las Vegas and travel around the world life changing.
The word ministry is such a fickle word because so often is it divorced from any concept of actual reality. How can love be expressed in a set of steps and rules? How can love be love it is nothing more than a formula people regularly run through?
Real ministry involves being real, not hiding behind masks and actually coming clean that I am in fact a human...a human with the same tendency of failing, the same fears, the same needs as any other human.
That is scary. The idea of not being able to hide behind this shield...the false notion that it was okay to pretend everything was alright when it is not...that is contrary to the whole nature of the Gospel. Things are *not* okay...which is why we need a God that is so much bigger than our collective mistakes.
A personal, loving God obsessed with us...that thinks of us...cares about our every thought...our every second of every day...a God that is incomprehensible and yet personal in the same breath...
It is like any real relationship with love.
It is terrifying as much as it is exhilarating because it means risking everything...being willing to act a fool and look stupid. Being willing to give your life to something so much bigger then you could ever be on yourself.
I guess that is what this is...a love letter...a request for those as...crazy as me to pray and send any support they can spare.
""Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.""
-Matthew 5:14-16
"It seems to me that God has put us who bear his Message on stage in a theater in which no one wants to buy a ticket. We're something everyone stands around and stares at, like an accident in the street. We're the Messiah's misfits. You might be sure of yourselves, but we live in the midst of frailties and uncertainties. You might be well-thought-of by others, but we're mostly kicked around. Much of the time we don't have enough to eat, we wear patched and threadbare clothes, we get doors slammed in our faces, and we pick up odd jobs anywhere we can to eke out a living. When they call us names, we say, "God bless you." When they spread rumors about us, we put in a good word for them. We're treated like garbage, potato peelings from the culture's kitchen. And it's not getting any better."
1 Corinthians 4:9-13
I have the internship stuff turned in...now it's just waiting to hear if I get accepted or not.
I'm slightly giddy.
I also haven't really slept in a while.
A good long while.
But any prayers would be accepted and desired because if this comes through it will be a life changing event...move across the country to Las Vegas and travel around the world life changing.
The word ministry is such a fickle word because so often is it divorced from any concept of actual reality. How can love be expressed in a set of steps and rules? How can love be love it is nothing more than a formula people regularly run through?
Real ministry involves being real, not hiding behind masks and actually coming clean that I am in fact a human...a human with the same tendency of failing, the same fears, the same needs as any other human.
That is scary. The idea of not being able to hide behind this shield...the false notion that it was okay to pretend everything was alright when it is not...that is contrary to the whole nature of the Gospel. Things are *not* okay...which is why we need a God that is so much bigger than our collective mistakes.
A personal, loving God obsessed with us...that thinks of us...cares about our every thought...our every second of every day...a God that is incomprehensible and yet personal in the same breath...
It is like any real relationship with love.
It is terrifying as much as it is exhilarating because it means risking everything...being willing to act a fool and look stupid. Being willing to give your life to something so much bigger then you could ever be on yourself.
I guess that is what this is...a love letter...a request for those as...crazy as me to pray and send any support they can spare.
""Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.""
-Matthew 5:14-16
"It seems to me that God has put us who bear his Message on stage in a theater in which no one wants to buy a ticket. We're something everyone stands around and stares at, like an accident in the street. We're the Messiah's misfits. You might be sure of yourselves, but we live in the midst of frailties and uncertainties. You might be well-thought-of by others, but we're mostly kicked around. Much of the time we don't have enough to eat, we wear patched and threadbare clothes, we get doors slammed in our faces, and we pick up odd jobs anywhere we can to eke out a living. When they call us names, we say, "God bless you." When they spread rumors about us, we put in a good word for them. We're treated like garbage, potato peelings from the culture's kitchen. And it's not getting any better."
1 Corinthians 4:9-13
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