*sigh*

I'm so tired of muscle spasms and hand tremors.

Walls of Disparaging Sound

This soul is so tarnished,
it is second rate.
Yet, through all the abuse
and the misuse
You still love me.

I'm captivated by Your thoughts,
by the rhythm of Your heart.
Every moment You are here,
breaking down these walls
and reaching to this lost one.
Spreading such vivid love
before the day I depart,
comforting these fear
but still I crawl,
overwhelmed by doubt
and afraid of life
and here You are.
Offering unfettered
hope and love.

"Age Of Reptiles" - Showbread

I am made of parts that freeze and ligaments that atrophy
Though they look they’ll never see
They don’t know something’s wrong with me
And just as well, I’ll never tell what’s underneath the scales
I’ve worn to thin to honor you, my every effort fails
So bury me with Israel and cover up my tracks
Leave not a trace of what I was, I’m never coming back
And if you’re mercy falls upon he whose blood is cold
Unearth me with your hands of love and never break your hold

The world is full of ones like me
Who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed
The truth is only you

Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Suck the venom from every bite and vomit every drop
Some of us may bite your hand but some of us will not
And every knee will bow before you, each forked tongue confess
My selfishness will rot in me and I will seek your rest
Still some lizards fell from you, ashamed of all they’ve been
So Jesus take myself from me, never bring it back again

The world is full of ones like me, who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed, the truth is only you
The world will soon become extinct, the age will pass away
And all will know that you are God, hallowed be your name

Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It’s true that I’m in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I’ll ever need, your love has set me free

The truth is only you

Philosopher List of 53

-Thales (624-546 B.C.)
-Anaximander (546 B.C.)
-Anaximenes (585-528 B.C.)
-Pythagoras (572-497 B.C.)
-Heraclitus (540-480 B.C.)
-Parmenides (515-445 B.C.)
-Zeno of Elea (490-430 B.C.)
-Protagoras (480-410 B.C.)
-Democritus (460-360 B.C.)
-Plato (428-348 B.C.)
-Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
-Jesus (3 B.C. - 30 A.D.)
-Paul the Apostle ( ???-65)
-Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)
-Justin Martyr (100-165)
-Marcus Aurelius (121-180 A.D.)
-Sextus Empiriricus (175-225)
-Origen (185-254)
-Plotinus (205-270)
-Athanasius of Alexandria (293-373)
-Augustine (354-430)
-Anselm (1033-1109)
-Averroes, Ibn Rushd (1126-1198)
-Maimonides, Moses Ben Maimon (1135-1204)
-Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
-William of Ockham (1288-1348)
-Martin Luther (1483-1546)
-John Calvin (1509-1564)
-Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
-Giordano Bruno (1548 - 1600)
-Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)
-René Descartes (1596-1650)
-Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
-Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677)
-John Locke (1632-1704)
-George Berkeley (1685-1753)
-John Wesley (1703-1791)
-David Hume (1711-1776)
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)
-Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)
-Friedrich Daniel Ernst Schleiermacher (1768-1834)
-Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831)
-Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
-John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)
-Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
-Karl Marx (1818-1883)
-Ernst Mach (1838-1916)
-Charles Sanders Peirce (1839-1914)
-Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
-Paul Tillich (1886-1965)
-Karl Barth (1886-1968)
-C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945)

"Chrono Trigger Theme" - Orchestrated Version

I forgot how epic music can be.

Tears.

Wow.

Such trivial and meaningless metaphors do grace my lips as I attempt to define the infinite and boundless nature of your grace and do I dare say love?

I wish and do dare hope this all comes true.

"Matthias Replaces Judas" - Showbread

To the hospital!

"Come on Eileen" - Dexy's Midnight Runners

"Train in Vain" - The Clash

"I Don't Like Mondays" - The Boomtown Rats

I love my absolute gift of being able to help no one while simultaneously pissing them all off.

I hate holidays so much.

And life.

But mostly its the holidays that grate my nerves.

Except Christmas.

And Groundhog's Day.

Good movie too.

The Dreams You Dare to Dream

"I Will Follow" - U2

Am concerned enough to almost try something stupid. Almost.

Time.

Wait.

Hate.

Annoyance.

Need to be proactive.

Worry, worry, worry.

Hackers and crackers with WOW, what next?

Worry, worry, worry.

Crazed unfriendliness towards those I love?

Unacceptable.

Not sure if this will help but go to itunes and download Brave Saint Saturn's album "The Light of All Things Hoped For", put it on something portable, get some headphones and lay down with it.

Thinking about...and prayer...hope...peace...and love...something more than just mere sentiment but genuine...beyond human's lack of care and inability to understand...but the peace beyond understanding...to you in ways only you can understand.

As always...muse...I stand ready for a transmission...a reception of some sort...to know the work is heading in the right way...I need your grace and guidance for this to take off and land.

The darkness overwhelms...threatens to drown...but the darkness cannot perceive the Light and is overwhelmed at the thought of the divine reaching beyond the legislation to humans...the part spirit and part animal mixtures that get more wrong than right...but that love still prevails...and reaches into the soul...and brings one soul to another...no matter the miles, the pain or the fear.

Love wins.

I wish I could find a video of the song "The Sky - Alpha" by Showbread.

That would possibly work.

Even though words are lacking in words to help...I don't hate your life.

Away to the ceremony of graduates I must go!

Feeling my soul burst into flames at there mere thought of your whispery inspiration...I have to ask...why dear muse have you been so silent as of late?

See the large stack of things to do?
My bad health?
Lack of income?

I'm trying to meet you in the middle here but if you don't get with the sprinkling of the magical muse dust I'm going to come in there and get it.

I say that with sincere love of course.

I hate being so paranoid about oversleeping that I do not sleep at all...*sigh*...

Progress has been elusive...but the conversation...outside...and in has been productive in its own ways...leading to conclusions...creating and cross synapses that have only dreamed of being fired and opening pathways of thought into metaphors and unexpected conclusions.

Five AM though...what a time for phone calls.

Prayer and sentiment mixed with hope...directed to those sick and ailing...in the body, mind and soul...so much more yet so much less...things are gathering, being blown and directed in ways most unexpected.

What is this hope?
This light daring to pierce darkest night?

Unspoken words...acknowledge and given via train of thought to those in most of need...suffocating on the lack of consideration and love...not knowing how dearly beloved you are in both thought and action. Beloved, muse and all.

"The Goat" - Showbread

For A Smile...

...make sure to watch in order.