Being Human

Sometimes I loathe being human.
Yes.
This is directed to You.

Why these emotions?
Feelings?
Desires?
Wants?
Needs?
Longings?

Why do I miss something?
Why do I miss someone that will never reply to me again no matter how hard I try to get in touch with her?

I don't know where lines are.
Or maybe I do not care.
This may be Your mercy.
Keeping me from digging holes deeper than I can ever hope to get out of.

But the sheer frustrating.
The ache of my soul.
The absence.
The pain.

It's not just one person.
It's being.
Being.

I know, I feel in my bones there is reason.
That even when the shroud separating this world from the next is torn down, like on that Friday, things will be made whole.
Healing.

But until then.
This mountain.
Then the next.
Until I reach the place You want.
A second coming.
Or my death.
Whichever comes first.

I trust this isn't just some parade of fools.
But I cannot carry this heavy heart alone.

Oh for a Song to Sing, A Muse to Cry Unto

Reading words with no context.
With no voice.
Not being able to hear the tones and inflections...
Oh the pain.
Memories that are treasures,
start to weigh down
and feel the weight of glory.
That maybe all will be revealed.

And I can take you by the hand,
see your smile face to face
and we can walk in the Kingdom.
Unburden by chronic death
but flowing with everlasting Life.

Fading Away

Sometimes I wonder if it is best to remove myself from situations.
Away from certain people.
Away from certain things.

There are those I would give anything to talk to again...but communication seems to be dead.
No returned messages.
Is that the nature of life?

I hope.
I need to hope.

Things keep spinning out of sync.
I'm so sick so often and feel so lost.
I miss You.
And you.
And you beautiful Muse.

Everything is fading
the colors can glow
and even hurt too.

I want to hope.
I need to hope.
Even when I forget...
I just forget.