Fount of Eternal Confusion

Stuff never really seems to balance out around me.
I tend to either be stressed out and busy.
Or stressed out and nothing to do.
Sometimes I am off gallivanting on some metaphysical higher plane and return to find out that my body went into 'standby' which means collapsing on the floor from stressed and curling up into a ball while whimpering that "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." ...or maybe its "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

Bah.
Point being is that when it rains it floods.
And it's always flooding in this neighborhood.

I've been approached to work on not one but TWO seperate television projects.
One is in directing/production on a tv pilot.
The other is writing and possibly helping to direct a(n) episode(s) of a TV series being picked up by Christian TV Networks.

I never thought I would actually write anything much less direct TV.

And I can blame this on 'Ghetto Zorro'.
Which deserves to be put up somewhere here on the net where it can't be taken down by hyper Nazi copyright youtube lawyers.

Speaking of writing...my, unbelievably, fifth NANOWRIMO starts in a few months...I'll be writing my fifth novel...and I started this when I was twenty-one, fresh out of university and free falling into a pit of depression and ill health...and now I am twenty-five and free falling into a puddle of depression and ill health...and I have some stubborn people who insist on pulling me out.

So if things are as I understand them the writing based projects coming up:

-Directing pilot.
-Helping write pilot, other episodes and directing one.
-Rough draft of Fifth novel.
-I've started organizing all of my novel/story notes and trying to make sense of my novels to see if this next one is going to be in the overall series or something new.
-As always adding to and editing my poetry.
-I'm going to be writing my Master thesis in the spring.
-I have been asked to do voice over work for an audio play.
-Looking at starting a video review series with my best friend.

With all of these projects I am going to be happy if I make enough money to at least buy a taco.

That is a worthy goal...right?
So many things...yet at times I feel so distant and unsure.
I suppose that is life.
I never knew what to pray for...and yet here you are.
In my life, such vivid reality I never knew could be.

Life isn't just a downward spiral of decay.
Life and death.
Pain and progress.
But sometimes...sometimes the rain stops.
The rainbow does shine.
And the dreams you dare to dream do come true.