Song of Songs 2:10-14

" My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.

See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely."
-Song of Songs 2:10-14

Psalm 95

"For the Lord is a great God,
a great King above all gods.
He holds in his hands the depths of the earth
and the mightiest mountains.
The sea belongs to him, for he made it.
His hands formed the dry land, too."
-Psalm 95:3-5


There is every reason in the world to not be thankful...and every reason in the world to complain, be bitter, angry and throw about the place sulking while in pain. The harder thing is to make myself be grateful...to breath, to take in the air around me and savor it.

To realize that TODAY is the day I live out the salvation relationship bought by Christ's blood...second by second, minute by minute this life is fading, just passing away.

Now is the chance I have to simply be.
I was dead and now I am alive.
I was found as the poison worked its way through my soul.
Who am I, that such beauty could be mine?
Who am I, that the Creator would take notice of me?

Such love,
such affection,
such beauty
for one who is so close to being a beast
if not a monster, as it were.

The thoughts linger and flicker in my mind
and pour through the wounds in my heart
as I try am hurt
and break as I live
causing more pain
to those around me.

But as the old hymn says

"Mercy there was great
and grace was free,
pardon there was multiplied to me,
there my burdened soul
found liberty,
at Calvary."

I can have a hard heart that refuses to feel...or I can feel pain, feel this grace and be pierced deep...I want your words to shake me, to break me down and have your grace and Spirit build me up as the man you made me to be.

You are so wonderful, so beautiful, so powerful, so intoxicating...even when I am in such pain and feel so alone at times...You are good, You are wonderful, so beautiful to me.

Even to me Daddy.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.

It's harder to be joyful or really even grateful while in so much frigging pain...but I am still going to try...