I am absolutely baffled as to whether or not things are shaping into good or...or better good?

I will never get used to things actually seeming to go...right.
It is scary.
I know I shouldn't treat God as this vengeful kid going after ants with a magnifying glass...but at any second everything could end...and what little joy I have can be stolen by death and disease.

It is terrifying beyond words...but I can't just live in this cave under Samford dorm forever...