Monday, March 22, 2010

Bleeding Sentiments

My soul, oh my soul is so exhausted.
It lays here in my sick body just broken
and crippled from fear.

Every step forward is a dance back into the night
as I strive to feel
and face to the east while daring to hope
that I might see dawn's first light.

I have held broken lies
posing as eternal truth
and spread heresy
just because it was in this season,
while really I wanted
was to feel You.

I want to feel the Love I fear
and know the eternal is near,
everything is fading and burning
but my faith will endure.

My fear is that I am but straw,
useless chafe
not even fit for the stables
of my Lord God.

The stories I weaved with my imagination
never live up to reality,
I have the audacity to cry out
when my plans fail
and I blame my Lord for the failure that is mine.
Why such indignation?
Why such futility at claiming nothing?

It was never about others
just my selfish pursuit.
I'm just a bastard child of the kingdom,
an invalid barely scraping in.
And still,
and someway
I am loved.

Despite the vile beast I am,
there is love and grace to cover
even a sinner such as I.

Such unfathomable beauty,
such eternal wonders.
My heart can never comprehend
nor give thanks enough for.
But from here until eternity
I will live
casting my words to the heavens
in praise for the Redeemer,
the Lamb and Lord.

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