*sigh*

Have I mentioned...I miss...you?

"The Day The World Went Away" - Nine Inch Nails

I hate this weakness.

Admitting it means I loose my high and lofty place of judgementalism.

It feels like if this was it, this life was the singular expression of our beings...I could be happy to fade into nothingness.

There is no delight in being high and lofty once you have fallen into these cracks and beg to covered by the rocks, to just escape the forthcoming wrath.

What is this?
What is becoming?
How was life crafted on this land of merciless sun and rocks?
Where is it going?
How did the diversity become so twisted internally?

What is...what will...

Traceless lines of confusion in my look for You.
I am a beggar just looking for hope, love is too much for one like me.

Momentary standstill.

Freedom.

Pain.

Vague labels, poor metaphors cloaked in words and shown to be near futile assessments.

Pain.

Pain.

Trouble processing...thinking...rethinking...making sense of this all.

Why?

That wasn't a very prudent idea.

Escape.

Impractical.

But sorely needed.

I fell.

This going at it alone is like a cancer that is slowly eating away at my soul.

I'm so sick of that...yes...I am...