I wish I had something better to say then nothing.

You know I'm trying to read it right now but I can't. I have all of these stress factors piling up right now.

I'm torn with so many feeling of anger and despair...it feels like I am just floating in this pool of apathy and selfishness. That the tension is going to keep building until it explodes and I just go over the edge again. Words just cannot correctly convey all of this hopelessness and rage bubbling under my skin.

I wish everything could simply be fixed, I could get a meaningless and menial job and turn my mind off. I wish I didn't have to think deeply and never find satisfaction and rest. I wish I could just be another stupid sheep and not have any sense of my place in the world.

I get so freaking tired of seeing peoples smug smiles and their leers at my 'failures', I get so sick of the eyes burning as they stare at me as I walk by. Inever asked for life and as far as I'm concerned they can just go die for all I care at this moment.

I'm sick of feeling judged and made to feel like I am nothing but a waste of space, this disgusting mass of organic matter that has no reason to life. I am tired of feeling so sick and guilty for even being alive. I am tired of it all. I want to scream, I want to lash out I want to do something destructive but there is nothing I can do that would have any larger meaning.

You know I am praying, I'm crying, I am trying to find some sort of outlet and this is all I currently have and I am tired of it. It would be stupid to say no one cares but it would be accurate to say no one understands or can see what is going on.

It helps to say I am angry and tired of it all. It is like getting a fresh breath of air after living in this sulfur filled Hell hole for all of my life. Knowing you care enough to listen means something.

The internet is about to cause me to fly into a homicidal rage.

I hate this world and how it makes everything not work, including the freaking internet.

Of all these simple words you spoke
that is the one to make me stop
and watch the time become like smoke,
filling this desolate land.

But I still look to see you
beyond your selfish ego,
the failing attempt
at reconciliation
and I have to smile.

Despite my bruised self esteem
I see me.
I see you and deep down you are me.
We can divide the difference
but all we have is the fact
we represent each other before
we knew each other.
Cracked mirrors.