Asorted Poems (Sorta)

This is an odd hodge-podge of poem/rambling thought/essay and song lyric.

If you can find a running order kudos to you and you will get a gold star and a pat on the head.

All I have left to say is
Please light my way,
the night is dark and the day is long in coming,
please light my way.
Won't you light my way?



** ** **
Time, Yes Time


The distance is measured in seconds
as your heart beats in sync
With the watch you watch so diligently.

Gazing in every single place
but where it matters
Refusing to face my face
for fear of fear.

Every single moment we dance this,
this syncopated
Melodramatic
Second by Second race.
Indeterminably you.

Repetitions repetition by you,
the repetition's heart beat by you
Again, again and again.
We face the sound of sound
by waters trail and beasts tail.
Running this syncopated race.
As we avoid face and time.

Time is our oyster,
the seconds are a waste
as we trail minute by minuet.
Words playing off our tounges
as we fumble in our pockets
for this minute change
of our lost ways.
Brazen we smile as we dance
refusing to cope with out loss.


** ** **
A Non-Story


Free lancer impostor
Persuader and full time traitor
Donning porcelain masks
and magazines,
the trade is in the lie.

Informing all of their terrible sin
while retaining all my secrets within.
It is a beautiful life based upon myself
My guilt, my health and the fork tongued self.

Any more release and we might have pain.
Any more trouble and you can be sure of my name.

I wear the mask to show the same
Nameless villains within,
that dabbles in the art of self,
the pious beginnings we all say
Are the blessings of which we win.

Wearing my hat in all its glory,
I recite the words
To my greatest story
Of elves and birds and swords,
of the wicked tongues
and acts of men.
Yes, a blessed curse of contradictory rates.


** ** **
Running Songs


It is in every breath you take,
the shifting light being born.
Pure only in the ways that you imagine
that a life of lie could be.
The frigid breeze you make,
with words full of unspoken scorn.

I could stand here and pretend,
imagine my soul as light
and free
and content
born to be lifted
Above petty sight and being your personal blight.
Free to roam these streets alone.
Free to be who I was born to be.
No longer afraid of what it means,
to be free of the malcontent of your lies.

The problem of choice is that we choose,
we choose to be what we be.
We cry and die to simple amplify our lie.

Yes, it is pitiful but it is who we are.
To deny ourselves ourself would be inhuman,
but is it what we need to be free?
To see ourselves as much as we are.
That all consuming lie we sell
at the corner markets of our soul.
Ringing bells.

To run free forever on this breeze,
that is where I will be.
To never be brought down by your negative conviction,
the lies you spun to being disorder,
the lies you sowed to let blossom into little birdies.
That sing, sing the one song you know.
You.


** ** **
Unexpected Flight Layovers


It is every single breath you take
that tells me every single thing
Every slight of hand
The forms your lips make
Your hollowness that craves a ring
If I wasn't so sure I wouldn't be me
If it wasn't just you it would

Delay.
Again.

It is the smallness of your hands
Their gentle pressure
As you continue to struggle
The vision gets bleaker
As your grip gets tighter
The only thing you know is yourself
If vanity was true it was always you

Delayed.
If not Denied.
Again.

To call this a dance is to blaspheme
The distance between us is a gulf
Created by the sparse vacuum
That you confuse for being a soul.
My only certainty of you
Is in that you begin as you end
Merciless void drawing in light

You delayed again.
Denying yourself
As you press your lips tight
Kissing your honey good night
Caressing my heart in distance
Smiling your little grin
Smug in the naivety of those who trust
Who dig their grave because of you.

Really it is simple.
Your analogy of life is a construct
Pulled by you.
You are a fiend.
Playing as a friend.

Delaying.
Delayed.
Delay.

Play with your dead mouse little kitten.
Purse your lips and make them perfect.
Dab a little make up.
Some gloss
Shadows for the fire of your eyes.
Constrict my throat
Hold onto my hand
Go ahead and grasp my heart with both hands.
By all means you are a charlatan.
A beautiful depression who delays.
Singing a melody you pretend to have wrote.

I see through your eyes.
You delayed again.
You stopped the bullet with your eyes.
If you smile you know you can hold.
I just taste bile.
Because of that pretty little smile.

** ** **
Hooray For Job Applications


It is frustrating that in what little contact I have made in trying to find a church position I am now more convinced then ever that I will never be hired unless I am willing to put on a charade and parade around religiosity bullshit that would otherwise cause me to vomit.

The fact that Jesus loves you should not only be a comforting thought but it should become the deepest desire in the very being of your soul. It should become the single most disturbing thought that haunts your every waking and sleeping moments. The fact the one who spoke creation into being is enraptured with your sinful and otherwise useless failure of a self should cause you to stand up boldly under the weight of knowing that without his very breath and attention your frail body would collapse in of itself and you would drown in your own bodily fluids.

...on further reflection I think I see why I will not be hired anytime soon.

Immaturity is that key.
Shadows upon my soul.
My inability to cope with stress because of me.
I clutch pity like a prize
and pretend I play a different game.

When there never was a game.
All we have is You.
I clutch tightly to myself and damn myself to being unproductive.
I tout your name like a cure, like I am somehow different
from those under the curse of our own selfish intent.
I scream for the loss blood of the innocent
and cry out for the blood of their killers
while not realizing both are damned without your love.

I long for the singleness and unity of you.
To be swept into your arms for eternity.
To feel your heart beat and touch your soul.
To know Your love extends past myself.
The unity of love together.

To sleep.
To rest.
Secure.
Forevermore.


** ** **
Reality Kinda Sucks


I suppose this is what makes me the absolute same as every other human:

I am a rather horrible person. Undeniable fact really.

Good? Giving? Kind? Courteous?

Semantical ideals that are no more then lies, lies we need to tell ourself so we can lay down at night and sleep.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Human beings really can only handle so much real truth.

We polish up everything we are to afraid to deal with and what may make us upset. Wonderful horrors we are all deep down.

Realizing my own potential for cold blooded evil is not the same as me following through with the acts.

But it does still scare me.

Greatly.


** ** **
Press *86 In Case of Zombie Attacks


Tonight is the night I never thought I would see
Everything that was just fade away
Taken apart in a blind zombie eating rage!

Zombies to the left of me,
Zombies to the right
Look out for the one about to bite
Grab the shotgun shells and let's go fight

Don't get trapped down an alley,
Or to snug in your aerie
There's a war in the streets
Man versus the beast

You know I don't care the cause
Zombies rise and Zombies fall
You know I could sing it all day long

Haunted cabins and desolate malls
All fill my sight as I try to let go
Infected labs can produce the disease
That's okay; they can still burn to the ground

Look out tonight, some heads might roll,
I'm revving up the chainsaw
And about to come get some


Zombies to the left of me,
Zombies to the right
Look out for the one about to bite
Grab the shotgun shells and let's go fight

Don't get trapped down an alley,
Or to snug in your aerie
There's a war in the streets
Man versus the beast


They're gonna eat your love ones
They're gonna kill the hated ones
Just like the rising sun
This plague doesn't care who it falls upon

zombies to the left to the right
its gonna be one long night
grab the shotgun shells
open the door to Hell,
'cause there is a lot to pay

Let's go fight
let's go fight


** ** **
Hours Spaced


It is good to know that these waves will continue to crash and wash away long beyond my minuscule lifetime.

The waves wash and carry grains of sand far beyond their homes.

I am buffeted by the wings of time and drawn into streams of life I never to be.

Every passing moment of life is as fleeting as the next.

Wave crashing wave, carrying out purpose with a fleeting life time as old as age.


** ** **
Forge


This burning dull sensation.

Hunger for life in its separate ways.

Sanitation inside acting out.

Day by Day burning cleaning sense.


** ** **
Yet More to Go

It is just great. I can hide here in my self pity all the live long day. Neglecting others, neglecting self and rising another mile marker in the name of pride. Isn't it just wonderful, so absolutely wondrous at the absurdity of the stark vulgarity crying out?

Oh dear, can't you just see it all wrapped around your little finger? The dying addictions, the self afflicted cancers that eat away at our precious pretending souls? We claim to know something, to see it all but at the end of the day so very little is left of your world.

You can hear it. I know you can. The high pitched screaming along with the chittering legs of insects running rampant through the very essence of your being.

You can defy everything that is within, dance around the truth and be everything that I knew I never would choose not to be. Lusting for the attention and whoring out the being of myself just so I can please the monolith I raised. Sacrifices and blood pouring from your soul.

Every time and I mean every single time I look into your eyes, gaze into that steel cold reflection of myself...I see every last thing I have ever despised and wanted to kill. Nothing can hope to define the ecstasy of rage that burns in my heart at seeing you, the precious little angel concocted from misplaced sympathy and unadulterated lust.

A bastard child if there ever could be hope of one.

There could never be one I hate more, one I am more disconnected from and one that i will never know so deeply. Ego and super ego, persona and soul. One mind, one body, one flesh and one soul. We are one and the same, yet we are the polar opposite of carnal flesh and supernatural spirit. No hate could ever be met, no demonic screech could math the throes of our battles. Ultimately we are both wrong, both bastards in need of a redeeming wrench from the overwhelming powers of divine wrath.


Sing over me.
Let the waves of ocean flow underneath.
Be still in breath and wait to hear,
The voice of my love.
Sweet and low inside,
flowing within and without this life.
Even within the fevered pitch of my hate,
You have still loved me.


** ** **
Nameless Sigh

Infection
Breaking in
Screaming out
Every little word is tried
Every little thing that said

Drawn me in or cast me out
Your beauty is all I got left
It moves me after I stop
The downbeat with out a doubt
Pulls me back to life


** ** **
Capstone

My liturgy is taken linearly
and my poems are taken literary.

The paths are burned with sneering vernacular,
words I throw about like searing flames,
hope I will never abandon to myself.

The labyrinth of my mind is my soul.
Essence bleeding hope as much as desire,
muddled hope trampled by this thought.
The moment of being you forget when you can breath and know.
Ecstasy and joy of forgetting that you need to know you are.
Metaphorical releases of sound and hope,
the bare and base essential of life is in this moment of life.

Blowing care free across once withered plains,
plains now lost in the joy of rebirth.
Steams of life overflow into flowing growth.
Leaving the forgotten and breaking anew.

Lackadaisical, really.
One breath of air into the next.
Lost within you.

Hope returned.
Please be reborn in her.
Not for my sake but for Yours.
Return and breath in new life.
Prayerfully.

Time, Yes Time

The distance is measured in seconds
as your heart beats in sync
With the watch you watch so diligently.

Gazing in every single place
but where it matters
Refusing to face my face
for fear of fear.

Every single moment we dance this,
this syncopated
Melodramatic
Second by Second race.
Indeterminably you.

Repetitions repetition by you,
the repetition's heart beat by you
Again, again and again.
We face the sound of sound
by waters trail and beasts tail.
Running this syncopated race.
As we avoid face and time.

Time is our oyster,
the seconds are a waste
as we trail minute by minuet.
Words playing off our tounges
as we fumble in our pockets
for this minute change
of our lost ways.
Brazen we smile as we dance
refusing to cope with out loss.