A Life of Arrested Development

I suppose one might call my life one of arrested development.
I'm about to leave my mid twenties and be in my late twenties.
Yet I am afraid.
Deeply afraid.
Terrified.
Such palatable pain and fear.
To such a point I often do not know what to do.
So I hurt.
Deeply.
And react.
So I hide.
I fight to break free.
For what?
Illness.
Pain.
Sickness.

Does this make sense?
Did I choose such a path?
Was I given a choice?

And yet here I am.

Uncertain.
Afraid.
Longing.
Lost.
Needing.
Hoping.
Praying.
Feeling.
Believing.

Do you see the sun rise?
Such pale distant piercings of faint light?

Some call my God a dream.
Falsehoods built over fears.
Yet Love won me.
Divine Lover wooing me with passion.
Washing me with Love and Grace.
Impossible concepts.
Impossible ideas.
Things I could never grasp.

But arrested and stunted in emotional growth I might be in,
I still hope.
Hope.
Love.
Need.
Give.

From here.
To you.
From me.