Be Still and Wonder

It's always so silly to assume a human being is capable of sharing, understanding, collecting, connecting and being more than mere acquaintances.

Pain defines, aches, listen, leads and betrays.

What is Truth?
What is Truth?

Only You.
This world falls apart.
Whispering lies
and fallacies
leading in circles
as I look up in wonder.

Quote of the Day:

"Memories and possibilities are ever more hideous than realities."
-H.P. Lovecraft

Psalm 45

"Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever.
You rule with a scepter of justice."
-Psalm 45:6

Eternity...Grace...Love...none of this makes sense.
But despite my inability to understand...You are Truth.
The only Truth is You.
Everything is fading.
Everything is dying.

Please do not tarry in saving, redeeming and healing me.
I'm so tired, broken and weary.
I pray and wonder.
Holding out for hope.
Will you please not forget me?
Do not leave me to die.
Remember the promises of Your Word
and once again,
save me, love me and care for me.

Abba, Father, Love,
Infinite God
and
Lord of Lords,
King of Kings
all is Yours.

Please come.
Come quickly,
Oh Lord Jesus.

Dental Pain = Not Fun

Five root canals.
Four crowns.
Intense pain from swelling and possible infections.
And a month and a half of using Vicodin.

Weird, weird time.
So many good moments interspersed with intense fragments of bad.

I feel so close to making the right decision but...in ways I am not sure.

Doubt will always be here.
But I just might be in Love, more so than ever, and maybe I have a job that can work not just for now but for the foreseeable future.

I feel so close to being able to do ministry again.
My soul screams for You.
I need You.
So much.