Friday, November 11, 2011

Hatred isn't nice.
But so isn't imposing yourself either.
Feel free to replace hate with seething rage because of having to deal with an entire house of drunk people and just wanting to cry from hurting so much and...therapy hurts so much despite the healing.

Psalm 41

"“O Lord,” I prayed, “have mercy on me.
Heal me, for I have sinned against you.”"
-Psalm 41:4

This Psalm is so violent and I am trying to stop thinking and feeling so...violent.
How much is permissible?
What is right?
How can justice be enforced without strength?
Is it ever right?

I'm so worn out.
No thoughts make sense.
I hope but not sure how.
Or what to hope for.

But hope I shall.
I hate people.
Too much stress.
Too much irresponsible stupidity I am not in control of and have no desire to be.
I want to keep people safe.
Reduced to just the bare minimum.
The rest of you jerks can fend for yourselves.
Pull your broken drunk bodies out of the car wrecks and pick the glass out of you.

I'm not a savior.
I'm no hero.

"Now this is who we are
I am no one's hero
For we are not the giant men
That some may think
You are faithful when we are not
So I'd like to tell this story
The way it is meant to be
Without the burden that's in our hearts
None of us would have ever found You
For You are faithful when we are not
You began a work
That only you can complete"