Thoughts, thoughts, thought...more thoughts and a few dozen more.

Things are better.
Thankfully not worse.
So tired.
Oh so so tired.

Feeling, things and hope.
Something muttering,
voices carried on the wind
and I am waiting here.

Nausea and chills.
Woo.
@_@

I'm not sure if I'm just tacky, out of date, out of place, pathetic, sad, a reject, silly, dizzy or just falling into a spiral.

Frankly, I don't care about being rejected.

I can live with it.

I just want to protect those I love.

Bring smiles.

Maybe make life a bit bearable for everyone around and involved in everything.


God I'm so weird. >_<

Things would be so easier if I could turn my mind off and not feel the need to invite/involve myself in everything...which may be why I am so shocked when I actually am invited to things...

Live, Life, Love

So many thoughts.
Disconnected.
Disorientation.

I see but do not see.
I feel but cannot touch.

Glass boxes
and reminders
that all is not well.

Broken souls
and dejected lives,
painful breaths
and realizations of time.

Can I breath?
Dare I live?
Let go of pain
and refuse
to be defined
by illness.

To escape from pain,
flee across these plains
and traverse the deserts
with their hellish heat,
knowing full well the price.

Everything
and nothing.

You look into me
and for You my insides ache.


I want to protect
and learn to love
but so much is true
when it is false.

I hurt so much.
Do you see
and feel everything I am?
Does it matter that I am?
I can't be a hero
but I can choose to love
and let everything lose,
these prayers
and reluctance to live.

Quote of the Day:

You mean,’ said the Tragedian, ‘you mean – you did not love me truly in the old days.’

Only in a poor sort of way,’ she answered. ‘I have asked you to forgive me. There was a little real love in it. But what we called love down there was mostly the craving to be loved. In the main I loved you for my own sake: because I needed you.’

‘And now!’ said the Tragedian with a hackneyed gesture of despair. ‘Now, you need me no more?’

‘But of course not!’ said the Lady; and her smile made me wonder how [the phantom] could refrain from crying out with joy.

‘What needs could I have,’ she said, ‘now that I have all? I am full now, not empty. I am in Love Himself, not lonely. Strong, not weak. You shall be the same. Come and see. We shall have no need for one another now: we can begin to love truly.’
-C.S. Lewis, "The Great Divorce"