Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Still praying.
Still hoping.
Some things never change
and yet what shall remain?

Psalm 67

"May your ways be known throughout the earth,
your saving power among people everywhere.
May the nations praise you, O God.
Yes, may all the nations praise you."
-Psalm 67:2-3


It feels so absurd to try and look beyond the trappings of this society and see that You are concerned with more than just this one people. That Your vision, the love and grace that come from the cross are meant for all people everywhere...and even though I do not understand why this world is the way it is...Your love has persistently beat its way inside of me and I just can't help but want to get over myself.

It is depressing how often I just screw up...yet You not only love me...but like me?
How thoroughly absurd.
But more than that...so absolutely true.

With everything that I am studying, reading, absorbing...what will it matter if my heart remains unchanged? If I do not flee desperately from sin and into Your arms?

My heart is breaking for all the wrong reasons...self pity, self hate, self absorption...me, me, me...me too.
Help me stop long enough to breath and just listen...

There is a huge world that is hurting.
That You love.
That I am part of.
That the silly people who read this are apart of.
This isn't just meant to be a display of play acting hypocrisy...but...

There can be incomplete circles and redundant statements...but Your grace knows no bounds. The fears which live in my heart and threaten to overwhelm me...I'm just like any other person...and it is good.

But the burning desire for more, to be more, to grow...to become who You made me to be. That thought captivates me and I idolize it...but God I just want to worship You...not just these pointless images again and again.

But You dear Father.
You alone.