I think my head will explode from stress.

Yup.

Seems that way.

Now to walk over and clean some more dishes while whistling cheerfully.

Late Morning Musings

Living here with John, Josh and Carrie has been one of the best decisions I have ever made...I don't sleep well, there is almost always a huge pile of dishes, there is relationship drama...but there is actual love and caring.

Being able to pause and pray with them, having them ask if I am okay, being able to work together to clean or make shadow puppets with the power goes out...it's just the best elements of being at school...right here.

I can be a crabby person when I don't have enough 'me' time...but loosing that isn't such a bad thing...being free to love means giving up my idolatrous habits of worshiping me. I'm the one who kept going on about how Tolstoy writing about Christian communes is the most God honoring way to live...giving up life being about me is the best effort I can make.

I am ready to try and step out into the sun and walk a little...baby steps maybe...but I want to be as genuine as I can.

No more shadows...just sunlight that starts to burn away the parts of me that need to finally go...growing up means change...maybe I am just about ready to try being an adult...


My only regret is not having a Muse...and maybe never have that one...again. But once again...You know what You are doing...this isn't about what I want and need...as much as showing You are sufficient with my love and lifestyle...God what a change...

What a change.

That is the single most vivid nightmare I have ever had.

God...wow.