Maybe one day this side of eternity I won't hurt so badly.

How much of this is sincerity and how much preconditioned rambling nonsense I am spouting like a parrot speaking of Homer?

Where is this salvation I claim?
At what point does sincerity overcome my selfishness?

"Despite our selfish selves,
despite all loss of hope,
despite our lack of faith,
despite our stony hearts,
despite the waning moon,
despite the ebbing tide of how we think this world should be.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
praise Him all creatures here below,
praise Him above ye heavenly host,
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Gray rainy day, down in the mud for us.
Don't feel I can sing,
songs to the God in control of the seasons.
But what's good and bad,
flow from the hands,
of the God with the perfect plan.
Filling us with joy, all of this will glorify."

Hope is something I must fight for in order for it to endure.
My faith is so weak...the smallest pain and change in my plan makes me loose courage and seek to find pity and some means of diverting myself from this life.

Quote of the Day:

"Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining."
— Anne Lamott

So many thoughts for so late an hour...so many considerations and so many things.
God...why do I dig holes like this?
I feel...I feel...
The things...the thoughts...the...every...thing...