"I protect that which matters most."
-Seraph

"Walk On" - U2

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for one second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No, they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
You stay safe tonight

And I know it aches, how your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home, hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home, I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is

And I know it aches and your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
It's only time
All that you bear
No more than a feeling on my mind
All that you see
All that you wear
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress up
All that you've seen
All you create
And all that you wreck
All that you hate

I got nothing...I just wish the night didn't seem so long and the light I saw were something more than incandescent lies...

"It's so wrong, so far from true...I'm just like you."

Breathing...amazing how far the simple whisper of a Muse can take you...

I Hate Math

The worse case scenario is that I'll wait here, in this office, for forty hours this week...ten hours a day...and won't get seen at all.

The worse part...is being this close...feeling it and knowing...not being able to read or hear what may be...and my mind runs around, runs off and here just because it can...but I miss...oh heavens how I miss that...

That sucked.

I also don't like the way I'm setting myself up to fall...I need to escape from a few things running my mind...I would love to learn how to breath again and just take everything as it is and as it will be.

On the plus side I'm listening to Huey Lewis and the News. I don't care how cheesy some people may say the music is...it has heart and I love it.

Now...more waiting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postcholecystectomy_syndrome

Indefinite waiting while hoping for a canceled appointment.

Oie.

At least I'm here.

Yes!

This might be my future:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurostimulator

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinal_cord_stimulator

But...yeah...the doctor I talked to seemed quite angry with my other doctors...he feels I've had about a half dozen too many procedures and that the best course of action would be to treat the pain.

I just...yeah.

Maybe not disappointment...just waiting to see.

I may get in today, this week or in several months...

I also didn't realize I gained close to forty pounds thanks to this stupid anti depressant that was supposed to help with the pain. I didn't exactly feel fat until my mom announced in a shocked voice to the entire waiting room...yes...thanks. -_-

Turns out I have a chronic pain problem.

...seriously.

Now to play the hospital waiting room waiting game.

Sort of like who blinks first looses...

Tried to call...hope I didn't wake You...make you wonder and why...it was a simple Voice that woke me...He said Hi.