*sigh*

Pharmaceutical drug hangover for the loose.

I just can't tell...the difference...if I miss you or maybe just hate you...if I want to see you again or just wish Jesus would put this eternal divide between us.

Sometimes you just can't simply kill your demons or old ghosts...maybe sometimes they just need hugs...

"Hurt" - Johnny Cash

This Is...It?

Nightmares.
So little time.
Bearing on reality or not,
do you sincerely believe
that all is mere flesh and bones?
That someone,
the totality can be summed
in mere organic thought
and numerical being?

It's not like I can't see you,
every day of my life
I'm feeling just like you.
I see the pain and know it's trite,
but there is love
and love enough for you
just like there is love for me.
Love that overcame death
and crossed this chasm.
Love that screams for freedom
gasping for breath
as it whispers your name.

It is just like this one
to leave home before being ready.
Forgetting everything at the door
and selling myself before I can agree
but here I am,
just like you.
Going down,
crashing at a moment's notice.
Failing on love
just as I have before.

What will it take for you to see,
this love is real,
blood bought
and eternal in being
far outside our souls
but close enough to fear.
Love that never failed
and never will.

No matter what I've done,
this lifetime of failure
summed up in a breath
You have carried me.
It is You who took on flesh
and wore it these many years,
carrying this pain
in a cross shaped parcel
With no thought of loss,
the Hell or fear
You carried me just as easily.
How can I reply?
How does one so broken and finite
respond to one infinite in love?

I've nothing to give,
nothing but this broken life.
Look into my eyes and see,
see what you've missed.
See the blood stained tears
and know there is hope.
See the distraught soul
that has been carried
and forgiven a lifetime of sin
and know there is grace.

I hate dreams.

Stop being so vivid already.

I don't want to care.