I used to dream that I could fly
Just above the whispered clouds, beneath the somber sky
I had a dream I was alive
I dreamt that love would never die, goodbye
Dreams were cheap and hope was easy (so light)
The forgeries of life deceiving (so bright)
And as I glided to the ground (so long)
Calcified, the concrete weighed me down (cruel world)
Your wings are holding up the sky
Dear God, I had dreamt that I could fly
Alkaline the burning frost, has blistered deep beneath my bones
And winter spat its hatred, cold and coiled, black and deep
As it called me ever further, where evil burns and never sleeps
I once had prayers that found no words, fragile things I've never spoken
Through my lips passed eulogies for all the oaths that I have broken
And still the ghost of hope was haunting, through the dark to save the living
And still beneath it all I dreamt that God could be forgiving
Your wings are holding up the sky
Dear God, I dreamt that I could fly
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
I am the worst of all things here
My crooked, black, and lying heart still spits its bitter fear
And each and every sparrow
They flutter to the ground before they die
So please God don't forget me
''I have been with you all along, you have not noticed me.'
Nervosa now felt more ashamed than ever before.
'Why would you still care enough to save me
even after seeing the horrible things I have done?
Why do you remain here even now?' She asked, sobbing.
'Because, here is where you are,' the Lamb said softly,
'And I long to be with you.''
See from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
To Christ, who won for sinners' grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Somewhere Between Love and Here
Fallen out of sight of You
I start to loose myself.
Your voice is so faint,
but I can remember,
remember those first words.
The words bringing the chaos to calm,
the words that brought order
to an endless void.
With a simple word you speak
and creation kneels before thee.
You spoke and by your breath
brought this soul and body together.
I cannot remember much
but I have felt your arms
and your tears matching mine.
The burdens around me
that threaten to capsize me
and pull me under
are never a surprise to You.
Somewhere a child is dying
cold, alone and hungry.
Somewhere an innocent
is dying alone
blood pooled around
forsake by all
but You.
A blood smeared cross is the profit of my gains.
I killed the maker of creation
Arson of the soul burning with no notion
forgetting the price of life and the pain.
Every last word I can whisper
speaks as an eternal scream
blood red spilling as ink on paper
Nightmares replace my dreams
as I long for You again.
To have my savior be mine,
the One whose love is not mere vapor
burning in the sun.
But the One whose love burns the sky
gentle as a lamb
more fearsome than the darkness
There is no aptness
no words
no ritual
no saving grace
except for what You have given.
This body will continue to fail
and my words ring about in this room empty,
curses lifted in vain
against myself
against You
and whoever else who tries to help.
I lack words to speak
as I gasp for air
to weak now to scream.
I whisper in the dark,
I wonder where you are.
I can't scream
and my throat aches from the sores
of a lifetime spent lost
but here You are.
The smells of death and decay
and the rotting piles of trash around me.
The dark smiles at me,
smirks I recognize as my own.
Whispers of finality
that is my own voice.
I am but not alone.
More then this pain
and finality is You.
Jesus, bless me so I can move.
My tongue is full of venom
and has crafted so much deceit.
The blood continues to flow out
and I beg for Your touch once more.
The medication blocks the pain
but the disease of sin still festers.
Kiss the sparrow and come back to my side.
You see the fields of flowers
but I only see me.
There is a world diseased and dying
but here I am.
Please find me here.
Forget me not.
Forgive me for my doubt
and the gods that are my pain.
I don't understand.
My mind become more clouded
pain more intense.
I don't want to be saved,
I want to be yours.
I speak contradiction
and have my life engraved in stone.
It seems like the view of a sea.
White sands and eternal oceans.
My weakness and hate evident.
The tears I shed are for myself.
I've never remembered another
or cared to help give my abundance.
It is self.
No why or how.
No rhyme or reason.
Just this shattered heart
feeling lungs collapse.
Feeling the pain in my stomach build
for no reason.
Can we go alone,
just You and I?
Could You carry me to distant shores
although You have already died?
Can you carry the weight of my sins
and the weight of this dead body?
Can you carry me through eternity
and wipe away every tear?
Will you please save me,
Savior?
Redeemer?
Your cross is horrifying in its beauty.
Undying love at the price of a life.
My pride, my lust and my ambition
the hammers that drove nails
and here I lay on this mountain
covered in the dirt of this worlds triteness.
I feel the cold piercing my bones.
The fever of endless dreams
while waiting on this mountain side.
I wait while my faith breathes its last
and my body longs to give in with one last sigh
so please do not forget me Father.
Do not leave me here
rotting in my shame.
I start to loose myself.
Your voice is so faint,
but I can remember,
remember those first words.
The words bringing the chaos to calm,
the words that brought order
to an endless void.
With a simple word you speak
and creation kneels before thee.
You spoke and by your breath
brought this soul and body together.
I cannot remember much
but I have felt your arms
and your tears matching mine.
The burdens around me
that threaten to capsize me
and pull me under
are never a surprise to You.
Somewhere a child is dying
cold, alone and hungry.
Somewhere an innocent
is dying alone
blood pooled around
forsake by all
but You.
A blood smeared cross is the profit of my gains.
I killed the maker of creation
Arson of the soul burning with no notion
forgetting the price of life and the pain.
Every last word I can whisper
speaks as an eternal scream
blood red spilling as ink on paper
Nightmares replace my dreams
as I long for You again.
To have my savior be mine,
the One whose love is not mere vapor
burning in the sun.
But the One whose love burns the sky
gentle as a lamb
more fearsome than the darkness
There is no aptness
no words
no ritual
no saving grace
except for what You have given.
This body will continue to fail
and my words ring about in this room empty,
curses lifted in vain
against myself
against You
and whoever else who tries to help.
I lack words to speak
as I gasp for air
to weak now to scream.
I whisper in the dark,
I wonder where you are.
I can't scream
and my throat aches from the sores
of a lifetime spent lost
but here You are.
The smells of death and decay
and the rotting piles of trash around me.
The dark smiles at me,
smirks I recognize as my own.
Whispers of finality
that is my own voice.
I am but not alone.
More then this pain
and finality is You.
Jesus, bless me so I can move.
My tongue is full of venom
and has crafted so much deceit.
The blood continues to flow out
and I beg for Your touch once more.
The medication blocks the pain
but the disease of sin still festers.
Kiss the sparrow and come back to my side.
You see the fields of flowers
but I only see me.
There is a world diseased and dying
but here I am.
Please find me here.
Forget me not.
Forgive me for my doubt
and the gods that are my pain.
I don't understand.
My mind become more clouded
pain more intense.
I don't want to be saved,
I want to be yours.
I speak contradiction
and have my life engraved in stone.
It seems like the view of a sea.
White sands and eternal oceans.
My weakness and hate evident.
The tears I shed are for myself.
I've never remembered another
or cared to help give my abundance.
It is self.
No why or how.
No rhyme or reason.
Just this shattered heart
feeling lungs collapse.
Feeling the pain in my stomach build
for no reason.
Can we go alone,
just You and I?
Could You carry me to distant shores
although You have already died?
Can you carry the weight of my sins
and the weight of this dead body?
Can you carry me through eternity
and wipe away every tear?
Will you please save me,
Savior?
Redeemer?
Your cross is horrifying in its beauty.
Undying love at the price of a life.
My pride, my lust and my ambition
the hammers that drove nails
and here I lay on this mountain
covered in the dirt of this worlds triteness.
I feel the cold piercing my bones.
The fever of endless dreams
while waiting on this mountain side.
I wait while my faith breathes its last
and my body longs to give in with one last sigh
so please do not forget me Father.
Do not leave me here
rotting in my shame.
Ιησού Χριστού
Χριστέ μου, σωτήρας, με σώσεις.
Για τον λόγο σας, την ομορφιά σας.
Αποθήκευση μου.
Καθαρίζονται με το αίμα μου,
πλύνετε την ψυχή μου καθαρή.
Πατέρα, πατέρα μου.
Αγάπη μου με τον τρόπο που μόνο εσείς μπορείτε.
Είμαι κλάμα για την αγάπη σας
και μόνο εσείς μπορείτε να με σώσεις.
Θα ξεχάσουμε αυτές τις λέξεις
αλλά ποτέ δεν μου επιτρέπει να ξεχνάμε
η αγάπη σου για μένα.
Ιησού Χριστού,
σώσεις.
Για τον λόγο σας, την ομορφιά σας.
Αποθήκευση μου.
Καθαρίζονται με το αίμα μου,
πλύνετε την ψυχή μου καθαρή.
Πατέρα, πατέρα μου.
Αγάπη μου με τον τρόπο που μόνο εσείς μπορείτε.
Είμαι κλάμα για την αγάπη σας
και μόνο εσείς μπορείτε να με σώσεις.
Θα ξεχάσουμε αυτές τις λέξεις
αλλά ποτέ δεν μου επιτρέπει να ξεχνάμε
η αγάπη σου για μένα.
Ιησού Χριστού,
σώσεις.
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