It may be true that this moment does encompass all moments, all of time...but if so...it just serves to remind me how empty and pain filled it all is.

I have trouble with formulating words that make sense...words to make sense of the pain I feel and that I am in. Questions are asked and answers to define and give meaning to me is demanded...I just shrug and smile sadly because as far as I can tell none exist and none ever will.

Part of me wants to scream and fight against the dark...but so, so very much of me just longs to be overcome by the darkness. Swallowed whole and alive, just so I can fade away and be left alone. Left to just die and become nothing. I'm so tired, so overwhelmed with sorrow and not just by my pain but by all of the pain around me and in every single person who has the misfortune to enter this life.

I can at least pray the pain is brought to a sudden and swift end at some point.

Maybe.