"In the beginning..."
-Genesis 1:1
Those first words preface most of life. Every life and every endeavor have their first moments of life. Those struggling moments of quickly learning how to breath followed by many months and years of awkward movements of trying to learn how to walk and communicate with other people.
Novel writing is much the same way.
By what is a remarkably bewildering and messy way you bring about a confusing creation to life and despite how ugly it looks before you have it cleaned up, you love your new born creation.
This is only my second year of NANOWRIMO but so far I feel the same. There has been a lot of false starts and confusion but so far this fledgling novel is already leaving me behind. But like any child left unattended it can get in trouble quickly.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
First bit of Second Novel (Another World)
Prologue:
The earth stands on the brink of destruction.
Climate change, global nuclear proliferation and the continued existence of reality
television have all long been predicted to bring about the death of all humanity. Indeed, the utter annihilation of all on the Earth but in the actual truth was much more sinister than what most could devise.
However, this truth had eluded so many for so long so that when it came none save a select few were prepared. Because of the very real human genetic disposition to ignore what was in front of them, humans had been oblivious to the true problem that had existed long before they began their lease on the planet they affectionately called Earth.
This blindness, self induced really, gave rise to many problems because humans did not come to live on what they considered to be their earth for the reasons it was most commonly believed.
Oh sure, there WAS a creation, they were in fact made in the image of a Higher
Being (whose name is being withheld due to legal reasons) and not what was the more common misconception of humans simply springing to existence out of thin air. But the common misunderstand that humans had was that they themselves were created on their watery blue planet. Instead, the true story is a bit more complicated then that. They came to be natives by a series of incidents that had long been forgotten by them.
Maltovus.
A name that mostly never spoken, partly out of fear and partly out of
uncertainty of how to actually pronounce the said name. But it was a name that drove many to madness when in fact it was spoken. Understanding this mysterious figure brings further depth to the knowing of not just earths history but why humans became denizens of what was otherwise an unremarkable planet, that in the grand scheme of things was nothing more than a dime a dozen.
Maltovus began life in the period of history before time itself was aware of its own existence. He was chief of the Guardians, a race of divine beings appointed the
task of governing the worlds, encouraging the growth of and the keeping of peace between the many sentient beings thruought creation.
Things were good for a while and then the unthinkable, yet realistically speaking the inevitable occurred: Maltovus began to question why exactly the Guardians must serve when they themselves were superior to their charges.
Like a plague this thought ripped through the ranks of The Guardians, infecting and beginning the long process of decay among those who had grown weary with their task.
War soon erupted in the heavens and rebellion sprung up among the planets. The fallen Guardians began to enslave and kill the beings they once had sworn to protect. Taking Maltovus as their sovereign Lord they called themselves The Mauro, that is The Darkness. Cast from the land of eternal light the Mauro quickly began to conquer the various worlds and attempt to eradicate all The Guardians who remained.
Billions upon billions of lives at a time were snuffed out in the battles. But
eventually, the light prevailed and struck a devastating blow against the seemingly invincible rebellion. Trapping Maltovus on a bluish green world The Guardians brought a race of people to the planet to help ensure that the evil would never be allowed to escape.
With the blessings of the Prime Mover, The Guardians sealed the world off from the rest of creation. But as with any great decision this came at a great price. Because of the gates sealing this world from the rest of creation the peoples perception of the spiritual and metaphysical waned and The Guardians soon became nothing more then the stories of fables. Eventually these people would grow to forget their origins and forget their greater task and concern themselves only for the pure task of survival and seeking comfort.
It should be duly noted that eventually these people named theirselves humans, or ‘The Earth Bound Ones’. Which evidently was such an obviously ironic gesture that it quite easily passed over their collective heads.
Years passed. On the Earth the people progressed in technology and excelled in their many endeavors such as farming, watch building and finding bigger and more efficient ways to kill larger and larger amounts of each other.
Despite the lack of tangible evidence it is believed that even though there was no possible way for him to communicate to those around him, the mere presence of Maltovus on the world was enough to cause a taint that ate at the hearts and souls of the people, twisting them into corruption.
Despite the growing evil a stronghold of evil goodness did indeed prevail. A small group, with antiquated knowledge of their past true origins, was still able to communicate with the Guardians and was able to bring about the old alliance, renewed and forged anew. With this they appointed themselves the protectors of the world and prepared for the great battle they knew was to come.
Eventually everything came to a head. Despite the earth being sealed off from the rest of creation, breaches began to occur. Mauro twisted by their personal evil and the eons of time they had spent dwelling in it, began to appear thruought the world.
No longer the elegant creatures of light they once were, fearful whispers began to spread of creatures that were darker than the nights in which they dwelled, they saw with fiendish golden eyes that pierced through all except the brightest of days and an endless appetite that fed off of the blood of all that they could find.
Eventually an underground war began to be waged between the Guardians and Mauro, both sides employing the humans to their own ends, proxies in a way that few really understood. The battles escalated up until a prophesied chosen one was found by the Guardians, a human born that would be able to extend his strength into the astral realm and fight the ever growing darkness.
His name was Nathan and he was an American University student who had only wanted to sleep another five minutes before he needed to leave for class, instead he managed to walk into an unexpected destiny and a war he could never have imagined existed.
An unlikely duo, a Guardian who went by the name of Amanda and a self stylized swordsman by the name of Paul Manning were both commissioned to find Nathan. Eventually the three met and teaming up with Nathan's friends Jillian and Jermies, they began a quest across the United States to find the location of Maltovus' Tomb and put an end to the threat.
After traversing many miles and facing many unimaginable horrors they arrived at the Tomb and to their horror Maltovus was released and thanked them for being such willing pawns of a plan they never could have foreseen. After Unleashing a wave of energy they destroyed the tomb and presumably the heroes.
Our story picks up upon their arrival to another time and another place…
** ** **
Chapter 1 - Newer Beginnings
Finding himself in another time and another place, Nathan looked up from the ground and was moderately surprised to not find himself dead. His immediate reaction was genuine surprise, which was followed by bewilderment which eventually tapered off to being a so so attitude of relief that was further aided by the fact he still had his trusty green backpack.
The first thing he tried to do was sit up and so far that worked out alright. The next idea he had had was to stand up but that didn't work out so well because he ended up face first on the ground again, with feeling as if his insides were turning to his outsides and vice versa.
Content to lie there face first; he noticed that the grass he was laying on was a funny color, but despite this new fact he took a deep breath. He felt the sun hitting his bare neck which caused a chill to run through his body. It was nice actually.
He took another deep breath and let out a content sigh, a pleasant sigh happy to simply lie in the sun. Unbeknownst to him a dark shadow quickly moved over him, passing so quick that his surreal moment of happiness was not interrupted. Instead he stretched his lanky frame outward and wrapped his fingers around the blades of grass.
It was perfect. Too perfect for a day in his life.
That was his first tip off that something was wrong.
The second clue he had that something was wrong involved the hellish screams of the creature beginning a dive bomb attack on him.
Daftly rolling out of the way Nathan felt the winged beast fly dangerously close to him, the presumably razor sharp claws brushing by so close he could hear the wind whistling in between them.
Crouching on his hands and knees he watched the feathery mass of claws and death swoop off and begin what was most likely going to be another aerial attempt at removing his head from his shoulder.
Dull as his sense were at times, Nathan was rather found of having his head on his shoulder, so he received the hint moderately well and took off running in the opposite direction.
Although he was facing what he was fairly certain would be his long coming yet untimely demise, Nathan was able to take a large sigh of relief. At first things DID seem too perfect with this day and really all this meant was that the world was back in balance and things were progressing the way they were supposed to be.
So when the rather large explosion that occurred approximately fifteen seconds later, saving his life, Nathan did not if he should be relived or worried.
The best he could come to was a mild compromise between the both and simply pass out.
** ** **
Explosions are a curious thing, no matter how one looks at them.
No matter if it is a child playing with a bottle rocket in their backyard or soldiers having an equally good time using military grade plastique explosives, the results are always the same: large craters and giggle of exhilaration.
So it should not come to the surprise of anyone that this particular explosion in question was indeed large, colorful and despite the original intentions of its creator interpreted by some local humanoid natives as being a sign from their gods that this years harvest was going to be a bountiful one and that they should feast and be merry.
It is unfortunate then for the natives that the supposed harvest never came and so after a very long year of frugal surviving, in less than ideal conditions, the villagers came to a rather unanimous decision to lynch their shamans and renounce their gods of wood and stone and ditch their sacred agriculture, readily picking up stock trading and monotheism their places..
Without knowing it the natives owed a personal debt to Nathan and his friends. All because of one simple explosion their civilization was advanced by a few millennia.
** ** **
Looking back and forth before him all he saw was seemingly endless fields of tall, strangely colored grass. He tried to tell himself to calm down, himself responded by saying that “Apparently you, Nathan that is, was not aware of the fact that they were being chased by a huge flying ball of taloned feathery death.”
Nathan responded rather snappily by commenting to himself that “He, Nathan, is, was and more than aware of the current threat level they were under and if himself could get himself together longer then a few seconds it would be nice to have some sort of calm composure to think things over and that perhaps now would be a good time for something quite like a cup of tea.”
Himself rather snarkily replied that “All that HE, himself that is, was trying to do was ‘Keep your ungrateful hide alive’ and that the best thing Nathan could do was ‘Shut your incessant amount of unnecessary chatter and to please dive forward now before you get our collective head removed by that beast.’”
Surprised that such a useful tidbit of information could ever truly come about from what was such an impractical conversation with himself, Nathan tripped over a rock and tumbled head first into what seemed to be a very poorly place for a clearing.
Landing head first and rolling over onto his back Nathan stared up in
what was just a rather odd mixture of defeat and simple terror. He knew that right now he was looking into deaths face. He was surprised death was an avian but that is simply not something you say to death when he is about to become intimately acquainted with your innards.
He was sure that this creature shouldn't have exist outside of a terrible Hollywood movie (which as far as analogies go, this is a rather poor one that in actuality says less then what it seems like it would in the given circumstances). Giving a sigh of despair that would no doubt make his mother proud, Nathan braced himself for the end.
Fourteen seconds had passed.
Closing his eyes he expected to hear a rather inevitably large crunching noise followed by whatever 'Yum yum' noises such a large beast would make after eating him.
Instead, however, Nathan was surprised to hear a familiar whooshing sound fly over his head and upon meeting the giant creature created a deafening boom which besides flinging him about ten feet away in another direction, provoked Nathan into taking a rather defensive stance, that is to say by curling up into a ball.
Content to remain in his defensive position he didn't budge until he felt a shoe push him over onto his back and heard a very family voice say "Come on hero, is that the best you can do on such a short notice?"
Chapter Two - The Proverbial Frying Pan
Paul Manning was used to having to think on his feet. Being only half as clever and smart as he often times happened to mistake himself as being, he often found himself in many situations that could be best politely described as suicidal, or when no social tact was needed and one could just be plain, absolute idiotic.
As surprising as this was to Paul, it had simply became an unfortunate way of life for both his insurance provider and his equally unfortunate traveling companion who, despite their disdain for his stupidity actually needed him for the few sporadically placed moments of time when he would manage to overcome his natural inclinations and be surprisingly useful.
** ** **
Case in point:
After the resulting explosion that flung them to what they had assumed were their deaths; Paul, Jermies and Jillian all woke to find themselves in a rather ornate stone room with what appeared to be a large circular device imbedded in the floor.
Jermies and Jillian initial, respective thoughts were:
"Amanda!"
And.
"Nathan!"
Paul’s initial thought was deep concern over his hair.
Which this was quickly followed by him yelling a rather loud rant about “No! Not another freaking portal on the floor!” Which this in turn was followed by a large amount of obscenities.
Before either Jermies or Jillian could get anything reasonable out of him, a rather large wave of ornately dressed, yet leathery equipped guards rushed the room and proceeded to arrest all of them with the utmost care, except for Paul whose unfortunate hair was further disturbed in the tussle that followed.
After being placed in a cell for a few hour, guards came and removed Jillian and all the while Paul had constantly berated the guards verbally and threatened to 'thrash them in ways that they had never dreamed of being thrashed.'
It is almost safe to assume that the reason the guard didn't immediately attempted to terminate Paul’s life then and there was that instead of feeling threatened by his threats they instead found immense pity for him.
In the very sad way that somehow still manage to prove Paul’s own usefulness, when he himself had no idea about it.
** ** **
"You will not get away this man! Do you have any idea of who you are messing with?"
"Give it a rest Paul."
"Dude! Cool it, I'm trying to get us out of here." Paul said from his vantage point in front of the cell door.
"Yelling isn't going to fix anything."
"You don't know that man, if I keep this up who knows what may happen."
"That is exactly my point incidentally. You have no clue what you are doing and if it will get us killed. Do you know if they even speak English?" Jermies said from the bench he had made his home.
“No, but as always you seem to absolutely be missing the point."
"Beyond the point? Beyond. The. Point? At what point does screaming at people in what would most likely be an alien tongue to them even seem like a remotely good idea?"
"Because I know what I'm doing kid, I've been doing this for years."
Seething from hearing his comments, Jermies had gotten off of his bench and walked up to Paul and poked him in the chest as he said each word. "For all you know you could have just called all of these guards "The Abomination of Absolute Filth and that there mothers are ale swilling illiterate prostitutes who wouldn't understand morality if you hit them in the head with a Judge's gavel!"
"Actually," Said a sudden voice from behind them, causing both Paul and Jermies to leap, "You had simply called them "The worse set of guards to have ever been born and that their mother would have been better off throwing them from a window then allowing the shame of them walking the world to stain it with their souls forever.
“Well, that was the gist of it least" He said this with a smile. A very cold and alarming smile.
"We aren't going to be close friends are we?" Jermies asked with a sigh.
"Oh we will become close friends...after all what does pain do but unite people?"
** ** **
Chapter 3 - The Proverbial Fire
"Amanda?"
"Guilty as charged. Going to stay curled up in a ball or do you feel like doing something productive for a change?"
"You are alive?"
"Quite possibly. Or I may just be an incredibly explosive part of your imagination. Either way don't you think it would be nice to get moving before you attract anymore avian life forms thinking you would make a nice lunch?"
"Point taken and concede."
Opening his eyes he saw her outstretched hand and took it, allowing
himself to be pulled up. Standing rather awkwardly on his feet he noticed that she looked rather tired and run down, at least for someone who happened to exist as pure spirit most of the time.
"Amanda, you look rather tired and run down. Are you alright?"
She stared at him with unblinking eyes. "I am assuming this is how you were able to charm so many women in your past life as a Spanish Conquistador?"
"Er, aside from what I take to be sarcasm, are you alright?"
She shook her head in a rather hopeless way before giving him a small smile she usually reserved for small children and mass genocide. "I'm well enough to run before we get attacked again. Are you fine?"
"I'm fine. No limbs missing so I'm good to go."
"Good. That way." She said pointing over his shoulder.
Turning around he was surprised to see what he had thought was an endless field of peculiar colored grass ended about a hundred or so yards north of them and instead was the beginnings of a dense forest.
"Good a direction as any." He said over his shoulder to her and they began to cross the land at a rather quick pace.
** ** **
Chapter 4 - Through the Proverbially Culinary Fire and Flame
The earth stands on the brink of destruction.
Climate change, global nuclear proliferation and the continued existence of reality
television have all long been predicted to bring about the death of all humanity. Indeed, the utter annihilation of all on the Earth but in the actual truth was much more sinister than what most could devise.
However, this truth had eluded so many for so long so that when it came none save a select few were prepared. Because of the very real human genetic disposition to ignore what was in front of them, humans had been oblivious to the true problem that had existed long before they began their lease on the planet they affectionately called Earth.
This blindness, self induced really, gave rise to many problems because humans did not come to live on what they considered to be their earth for the reasons it was most commonly believed.
Oh sure, there WAS a creation, they were in fact made in the image of a Higher
Being (whose name is being withheld due to legal reasons) and not what was the more common misconception of humans simply springing to existence out of thin air. But the common misunderstand that humans had was that they themselves were created on their watery blue planet. Instead, the true story is a bit more complicated then that. They came to be natives by a series of incidents that had long been forgotten by them.
Maltovus.
A name that mostly never spoken, partly out of fear and partly out of
uncertainty of how to actually pronounce the said name. But it was a name that drove many to madness when in fact it was spoken. Understanding this mysterious figure brings further depth to the knowing of not just earths history but why humans became denizens of what was otherwise an unremarkable planet, that in the grand scheme of things was nothing more than a dime a dozen.
Maltovus began life in the period of history before time itself was aware of its own existence. He was chief of the Guardians, a race of divine beings appointed the
task of governing the worlds, encouraging the growth of and the keeping of peace between the many sentient beings thruought creation.
Things were good for a while and then the unthinkable, yet realistically speaking the inevitable occurred: Maltovus began to question why exactly the Guardians must serve when they themselves were superior to their charges.
Like a plague this thought ripped through the ranks of The Guardians, infecting and beginning the long process of decay among those who had grown weary with their task.
War soon erupted in the heavens and rebellion sprung up among the planets. The fallen Guardians began to enslave and kill the beings they once had sworn to protect. Taking Maltovus as their sovereign Lord they called themselves The Mauro, that is The Darkness. Cast from the land of eternal light the Mauro quickly began to conquer the various worlds and attempt to eradicate all The Guardians who remained.
Billions upon billions of lives at a time were snuffed out in the battles. But
eventually, the light prevailed and struck a devastating blow against the seemingly invincible rebellion. Trapping Maltovus on a bluish green world The Guardians brought a race of people to the planet to help ensure that the evil would never be allowed to escape.
With the blessings of the Prime Mover, The Guardians sealed the world off from the rest of creation. But as with any great decision this came at a great price. Because of the gates sealing this world from the rest of creation the peoples perception of the spiritual and metaphysical waned and The Guardians soon became nothing more then the stories of fables. Eventually these people would grow to forget their origins and forget their greater task and concern themselves only for the pure task of survival and seeking comfort.
It should be duly noted that eventually these people named theirselves humans, or ‘The Earth Bound Ones’. Which evidently was such an obviously ironic gesture that it quite easily passed over their collective heads.
Years passed. On the Earth the people progressed in technology and excelled in their many endeavors such as farming, watch building and finding bigger and more efficient ways to kill larger and larger amounts of each other.
Despite the lack of tangible evidence it is believed that even though there was no possible way for him to communicate to those around him, the mere presence of Maltovus on the world was enough to cause a taint that ate at the hearts and souls of the people, twisting them into corruption.
Despite the growing evil a stronghold of evil goodness did indeed prevail. A small group, with antiquated knowledge of their past true origins, was still able to communicate with the Guardians and was able to bring about the old alliance, renewed and forged anew. With this they appointed themselves the protectors of the world and prepared for the great battle they knew was to come.
Eventually everything came to a head. Despite the earth being sealed off from the rest of creation, breaches began to occur. Mauro twisted by their personal evil and the eons of time they had spent dwelling in it, began to appear thruought the world.
No longer the elegant creatures of light they once were, fearful whispers began to spread of creatures that were darker than the nights in which they dwelled, they saw with fiendish golden eyes that pierced through all except the brightest of days and an endless appetite that fed off of the blood of all that they could find.
Eventually an underground war began to be waged between the Guardians and Mauro, both sides employing the humans to their own ends, proxies in a way that few really understood. The battles escalated up until a prophesied chosen one was found by the Guardians, a human born that would be able to extend his strength into the astral realm and fight the ever growing darkness.
His name was Nathan and he was an American University student who had only wanted to sleep another five minutes before he needed to leave for class, instead he managed to walk into an unexpected destiny and a war he could never have imagined existed.
An unlikely duo, a Guardian who went by the name of Amanda and a self stylized swordsman by the name of Paul Manning were both commissioned to find Nathan. Eventually the three met and teaming up with Nathan's friends Jillian and Jermies, they began a quest across the United States to find the location of Maltovus' Tomb and put an end to the threat.
After traversing many miles and facing many unimaginable horrors they arrived at the Tomb and to their horror Maltovus was released and thanked them for being such willing pawns of a plan they never could have foreseen. After Unleashing a wave of energy they destroyed the tomb and presumably the heroes.
Our story picks up upon their arrival to another time and another place…
** ** **
Chapter 1 - Newer Beginnings
Finding himself in another time and another place, Nathan looked up from the ground and was moderately surprised to not find himself dead. His immediate reaction was genuine surprise, which was followed by bewilderment which eventually tapered off to being a so so attitude of relief that was further aided by the fact he still had his trusty green backpack.
The first thing he tried to do was sit up and so far that worked out alright. The next idea he had had was to stand up but that didn't work out so well because he ended up face first on the ground again, with feeling as if his insides were turning to his outsides and vice versa.
Content to lie there face first; he noticed that the grass he was laying on was a funny color, but despite this new fact he took a deep breath. He felt the sun hitting his bare neck which caused a chill to run through his body. It was nice actually.
He took another deep breath and let out a content sigh, a pleasant sigh happy to simply lie in the sun. Unbeknownst to him a dark shadow quickly moved over him, passing so quick that his surreal moment of happiness was not interrupted. Instead he stretched his lanky frame outward and wrapped his fingers around the blades of grass.
It was perfect. Too perfect for a day in his life.
That was his first tip off that something was wrong.
The second clue he had that something was wrong involved the hellish screams of the creature beginning a dive bomb attack on him.
Daftly rolling out of the way Nathan felt the winged beast fly dangerously close to him, the presumably razor sharp claws brushing by so close he could hear the wind whistling in between them.
Crouching on his hands and knees he watched the feathery mass of claws and death swoop off and begin what was most likely going to be another aerial attempt at removing his head from his shoulder.
Dull as his sense were at times, Nathan was rather found of having his head on his shoulder, so he received the hint moderately well and took off running in the opposite direction.
Although he was facing what he was fairly certain would be his long coming yet untimely demise, Nathan was able to take a large sigh of relief. At first things DID seem too perfect with this day and really all this meant was that the world was back in balance and things were progressing the way they were supposed to be.
So when the rather large explosion that occurred approximately fifteen seconds later, saving his life, Nathan did not if he should be relived or worried.
The best he could come to was a mild compromise between the both and simply pass out.
** ** **
Explosions are a curious thing, no matter how one looks at them.
No matter if it is a child playing with a bottle rocket in their backyard or soldiers having an equally good time using military grade plastique explosives, the results are always the same: large craters and giggle of exhilaration.
So it should not come to the surprise of anyone that this particular explosion in question was indeed large, colorful and despite the original intentions of its creator interpreted by some local humanoid natives as being a sign from their gods that this years harvest was going to be a bountiful one and that they should feast and be merry.
It is unfortunate then for the natives that the supposed harvest never came and so after a very long year of frugal surviving, in less than ideal conditions, the villagers came to a rather unanimous decision to lynch their shamans and renounce their gods of wood and stone and ditch their sacred agriculture, readily picking up stock trading and monotheism their places..
Without knowing it the natives owed a personal debt to Nathan and his friends. All because of one simple explosion their civilization was advanced by a few millennia.
** ** **
Looking back and forth before him all he saw was seemingly endless fields of tall, strangely colored grass. He tried to tell himself to calm down, himself responded by saying that “Apparently you, Nathan that is, was not aware of the fact that they were being chased by a huge flying ball of taloned feathery death.”
Nathan responded rather snappily by commenting to himself that “He, Nathan, is, was and more than aware of the current threat level they were under and if himself could get himself together longer then a few seconds it would be nice to have some sort of calm composure to think things over and that perhaps now would be a good time for something quite like a cup of tea.”
Himself rather snarkily replied that “All that HE, himself that is, was trying to do was ‘Keep your ungrateful hide alive’ and that the best thing Nathan could do was ‘Shut your incessant amount of unnecessary chatter and to please dive forward now before you get our collective head removed by that beast.’”
Surprised that such a useful tidbit of information could ever truly come about from what was such an impractical conversation with himself, Nathan tripped over a rock and tumbled head first into what seemed to be a very poorly place for a clearing.
Landing head first and rolling over onto his back Nathan stared up in
what was just a rather odd mixture of defeat and simple terror. He knew that right now he was looking into deaths face. He was surprised death was an avian but that is simply not something you say to death when he is about to become intimately acquainted with your innards.
He was sure that this creature shouldn't have exist outside of a terrible Hollywood movie (which as far as analogies go, this is a rather poor one that in actuality says less then what it seems like it would in the given circumstances). Giving a sigh of despair that would no doubt make his mother proud, Nathan braced himself for the end.
Fourteen seconds had passed.
Closing his eyes he expected to hear a rather inevitably large crunching noise followed by whatever 'Yum yum' noises such a large beast would make after eating him.
Instead, however, Nathan was surprised to hear a familiar whooshing sound fly over his head and upon meeting the giant creature created a deafening boom which besides flinging him about ten feet away in another direction, provoked Nathan into taking a rather defensive stance, that is to say by curling up into a ball.
Content to remain in his defensive position he didn't budge until he felt a shoe push him over onto his back and heard a very family voice say "Come on hero, is that the best you can do on such a short notice?"
Chapter Two - The Proverbial Frying Pan
Paul Manning was used to having to think on his feet. Being only half as clever and smart as he often times happened to mistake himself as being, he often found himself in many situations that could be best politely described as suicidal, or when no social tact was needed and one could just be plain, absolute idiotic.
As surprising as this was to Paul, it had simply became an unfortunate way of life for both his insurance provider and his equally unfortunate traveling companion who, despite their disdain for his stupidity actually needed him for the few sporadically placed moments of time when he would manage to overcome his natural inclinations and be surprisingly useful.
** ** **
Case in point:
After the resulting explosion that flung them to what they had assumed were their deaths; Paul, Jermies and Jillian all woke to find themselves in a rather ornate stone room with what appeared to be a large circular device imbedded in the floor.
Jermies and Jillian initial, respective thoughts were:
"Amanda!"
And.
"Nathan!"
Paul’s initial thought was deep concern over his hair.
Which this was quickly followed by him yelling a rather loud rant about “No! Not another freaking portal on the floor!” Which this in turn was followed by a large amount of obscenities.
Before either Jermies or Jillian could get anything reasonable out of him, a rather large wave of ornately dressed, yet leathery equipped guards rushed the room and proceeded to arrest all of them with the utmost care, except for Paul whose unfortunate hair was further disturbed in the tussle that followed.
After being placed in a cell for a few hour, guards came and removed Jillian and all the while Paul had constantly berated the guards verbally and threatened to 'thrash them in ways that they had never dreamed of being thrashed.'
It is almost safe to assume that the reason the guard didn't immediately attempted to terminate Paul’s life then and there was that instead of feeling threatened by his threats they instead found immense pity for him.
In the very sad way that somehow still manage to prove Paul’s own usefulness, when he himself had no idea about it.
** ** **
"You will not get away this man! Do you have any idea of who you are messing with?"
"Give it a rest Paul."
"Dude! Cool it, I'm trying to get us out of here." Paul said from his vantage point in front of the cell door.
"Yelling isn't going to fix anything."
"You don't know that man, if I keep this up who knows what may happen."
"That is exactly my point incidentally. You have no clue what you are doing and if it will get us killed. Do you know if they even speak English?" Jermies said from the bench he had made his home.
“No, but as always you seem to absolutely be missing the point."
"Beyond the point? Beyond. The. Point? At what point does screaming at people in what would most likely be an alien tongue to them even seem like a remotely good idea?"
"Because I know what I'm doing kid, I've been doing this for years."
Seething from hearing his comments, Jermies had gotten off of his bench and walked up to Paul and poked him in the chest as he said each word. "For all you know you could have just called all of these guards "The Abomination of Absolute Filth and that there mothers are ale swilling illiterate prostitutes who wouldn't understand morality if you hit them in the head with a Judge's gavel!"
"Actually," Said a sudden voice from behind them, causing both Paul and Jermies to leap, "You had simply called them "The worse set of guards to have ever been born and that their mother would have been better off throwing them from a window then allowing the shame of them walking the world to stain it with their souls forever.
“Well, that was the gist of it least" He said this with a smile. A very cold and alarming smile.
"We aren't going to be close friends are we?" Jermies asked with a sigh.
"Oh we will become close friends...after all what does pain do but unite people?"
** ** **
Chapter 3 - The Proverbial Fire
"Amanda?"
"Guilty as charged. Going to stay curled up in a ball or do you feel like doing something productive for a change?"
"You are alive?"
"Quite possibly. Or I may just be an incredibly explosive part of your imagination. Either way don't you think it would be nice to get moving before you attract anymore avian life forms thinking you would make a nice lunch?"
"Point taken and concede."
Opening his eyes he saw her outstretched hand and took it, allowing
himself to be pulled up. Standing rather awkwardly on his feet he noticed that she looked rather tired and run down, at least for someone who happened to exist as pure spirit most of the time.
"Amanda, you look rather tired and run down. Are you alright?"
She stared at him with unblinking eyes. "I am assuming this is how you were able to charm so many women in your past life as a Spanish Conquistador?"
"Er, aside from what I take to be sarcasm, are you alright?"
She shook her head in a rather hopeless way before giving him a small smile she usually reserved for small children and mass genocide. "I'm well enough to run before we get attacked again. Are you fine?"
"I'm fine. No limbs missing so I'm good to go."
"Good. That way." She said pointing over his shoulder.
Turning around he was surprised to see what he had thought was an endless field of peculiar colored grass ended about a hundred or so yards north of them and instead was the beginnings of a dense forest.
"Good a direction as any." He said over his shoulder to her and they began to cross the land at a rather quick pace.
** ** **
Chapter 4 - Through the Proverbially Culinary Fire and Flame
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