Monday, October 27, 2008

It is this dry spell that I'm afraid will kill me.
In between the beautiful days of life
you have these desperate moments of reality.
Realizations that you are a frail and fragile
finite life with only so much of a life expectancy.
Here today and gone tomorrow
everything in between will be reduced to nothingness.

The anticipation of what will inevitably come
is worse then what is.
Knowing the difficulty and the pain of today is just a foretaste
a near mockery of you today,
it is hard to know real
from the stress and pure feelings.

Sure pain may be limited to just here for the just now
but the just here and just now are all that I have
right now and know and feel.
It is problematic to assume and assure everything is alright
when you have neither clue nor hope it is.
The idea of saving grace come in by realizing
it is okay to be finite.
To be human.
To live, to die
and to try and be you.

The feelings and passions burning me will thankfully die
one day.
Until then it is a curse mixed with blessings,
being human is just all that it is
nothing more
nothing less.

I wish I could be freed to run away,
freed from this oppressive weight.
Freed from the desires and burning pain of this body.
Faulty and broken,
there merest hope of life feeling lost.

Help me to find You,
before the day ends.
Before all my blood spills out,
please love me.
Hold me to Your chest so I might hear your heart.
Let me know the end is coming
but I'll be found in Your love.