You know, just thinking about how I said that so casually and with so little real intent makes the bile rise up in my throat.

Being a hypocrite never seemed so easy or just looked so damned sexy.

I'm exhausted yet I cannot sleep.

These thoughts refuse to leave my mind.

Could you please consider giving me some relief?

Sometime? Anything? Possibly?

Now is supposed to be the best time? Then how come it is far from that?

How do I seize something that is not there?

It frustrates me that I run screaming from the thing that which I desire more.

Please help me out here.

Love is so hard. I struggle with wanting to hate it and wanting to run away from it.

The last thing I desire is you or your love, I wish i could just hide under the rocks and keep away from yoru perfection and from your creation.

It hurts to much.