Please stay near me for in this moment only you know how desperately I wish to flee. No words I could speak will free the world of the pain it is in. I have fallen in love with my own voice and cannot command my own respect as I order these rocks to move.

The only thing I have to give is my heart and still that could never be enough. I cannot even believe these words I type because I know the place they flow out of...how little truth resides in this soul. Everything begins with 'I' and the only thoughts I give to others is whatever leftovers I have.

I am sick to death from the rotten taste of religion in my mouth and stomach. I want to throw up and be purged of this infection within me.

Hypocrisy in the beginning and in the end. It's not bad enough that I indulge my every desire but then I come crawling back to you begging for a piece of grace. Like you were nothing more then a cheap prostitute and your grace nothing more then a 'trick'.

You say again and again that you just want love, to love me, to have me close to you and I refuse to believe it. If I am not busy being a narcissist in writing on here then I am busy gorging myself in every way I desire.

This is a train wreck.

Please do not forget about me being here. I am broken and unworthy but please send me too.



"Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Your's,
Only You can make every new day seem so new."

-Five Iron Frenzy, 'Every New Day'

I must admit things are much better then they would seem to be, based solely on my attitudes and actions that is.