Friday, January 11, 2008

Stupid Mornings

I really dislike pills. The medicine helps me to sleep but at what feels like the cost of my ability to function properly. I'm not even sure why I want to function properly when it seems the best course of action is to lay down in the floor until something happens.

On the plus side I think I'm cleaning my room (assuming this isn't just an incredibly dull dream reminiscent of the monotony of daily life) and that is something I can accomplish. I may be a complete failure in almost every other sense of the world but by golly I will be a clean failure if nothing else!

What makes the morning stupid? Memories of yesterday for sure. Memories of a lot of things actually, yeah...I could use a complete memory wipe at this point, that woudl make things better.

Things needing to be practical really really makes things a bit more difficult, akin to being shot in the foot while simultaneously being set on fire while realizing my socks are completely wet and are somehow fire retardant. Being burned, shot all while enduring wet socks, things can't get worse then that, right? Right?!?

There are plus sides, just like there are many chances for life in general but at the end of the day it is hard for me to try any of it. Personal motivation keeps fluctuating between negative levels and he slight problem of not existing at all. You do the math, I suck at it.

Anyway, I guess I will clean more before I have an existential crisis concerning the rights of dust to live in its own free world.